Biblical Marriage: Defining Marriage - Part 2

On Thursday night I began a series in response to the fact that a week ago we had a significant if not an earth-shattering decision handed down from the Supreme Court of the United States. This is not hyperbole. If you read the secular media often the responses of Christians and evangelicals especially, to the decision, we are cast in a very negative way. We are just bigots! We are discriminating against "wonderful, lovely people" and all we want to do is take away their rights and their dignity. That could not be further from the truth; it does not reflect the biblical position.

That may, unfortunately, reflect the views of some Christians. There are always some Christians who don't quite get the message that the gospel and our ambassadorship as believers is grounded upon the love of God. It is grounded upon the principles of Jesus Christ's first coming when He came not to judge but to offer salvation. That is still the focus of the church; we offer salvation, the gospel of forgiveness of sin. And yet we have some people who have a predilection towards legalism, towards an overemphasis in a derogatory manner, and use it as a bludgeon against those who are involved in sins that they do not understand and approve. The problem with that is if you allow that kind of thinking to go on in your soul it eventually works itself out in your life. That doesn't mean that we approve of the sins of others, whatever they may be or however egregious they may be. What it does mean is that that is not an issue with which we should concern ourselves; we are to reflect the love of God for all. We love the sinner but we despise the sin. We dare not let those get confused in our lives.

That is one of the reasons we have had such a hostile reaction (I think there are others) and will experience an overreaction from the homosexual community now that they have had this recognition from SCOTUS: that same-sex marriage is legal. That will give them a platform from which they will attempt to execute retaliatory vengeance upon Christians. I fear that over the coming decades we are going to reap the consequences of that and we will feel that hatred and that vindictiveness. Ultimately we know that that is a hatred and vindictiveness towards God. It is God and His standards and their righteousness that they have suppressed in their soul and that they are reacting against. And we are going to live in an environment where we experience personal ridicule, rejection and hostility from people with whom we work and live, people who are part of our family, people that we love and care for perhaps. They are going to revile and ridicule us, and as believers it is incumbent upon us to be informed of what the Scripture teaches, to understand the contemporary issues, that we may be able, as Peter says in 1 Peter 3:15, to give an answer for the hope that is in us.

One of the things that discouraged me a little bit in the last ten days is the discouragement that I hear from so many Christians. We have hope, folks. Our hope is not grounded in the Supreme Court or any of its rulings. Our hope isn't grounded on whether it is a Democrat or a Republican in the White House, or in Congress. Our hope is built on the Word of God; it is built on who Jesus Christ is and what He did on the cross. And so we can have joy even in the midst of recognizing that things in the world are not going the way we would like them to. Wake up! Guess what; it's the world! Whose system is it? It is the Devil's system. What more can you expect from the world than that they are going to follow the arrogance and the hostility toward God that the Devil has manifested.

We get a great opportunity here to manifest the love and the grace of God, the forgiveness of others who oppose us, just as the disciples did and just as numerous Christians have throughout the centuries. We get an opportunity to turn this whole discussion into an opportunity to help people understand the love of God, the grace of God, and the work of Christ on the cross. This gives us an opportunity to witness to others, and we need to shape our thinking that way. Despair and discouragement, bitterness, hatred towards these things that have happened is not part of the makeup of the Christian who is walking by the Holy Spirit. We have to change the way we think and react to these things. Certainly we recognize that this is a sad decision, but this is a new reality. Nothing like this in the history of the United States has ever taken place, and it has taken place over a period of just a very short time—a radical shift in the thinking of the people. We need to recognize that this is the way that things are and the new world in which we live.

One of the things I am doing as we look at this Independence Day special about marriage and freedom in America is talk about the purpose of marriage, and I am going to define that a little more. Because the more I study this, the more my thinking is being impacted by the fact that this is not always as much a matter of understanding the SCOTUS decision and the advocacy of same-sex marriage as it is for believers to understand what biblical marriage is all about. So often even Christians have succumbed to the watered down definition of marriage that has become normative for western civilization, a view of marriage that is not a biblical view. And as we approach this topic in any conversation we as believers need to make sure that we understand what marriage is.

Our authority is the Word of God and we are going to start from that presupposition, as we always must do. But when we are talking to unbelievers and rebellious believers they may say, "I don't care what the Bible says, I don't care what God says; you Christians always go back to the Bible, that doesn't mean anything to me". Well, what does mean something to you? Let's talk about law; let's talk about history; let's talk about these undergirding concepts that are really the foundation for a conclusion, and see if this really works.

What I am trying to do in this series is shed a lot more light than heat and help us as believers think about what the issues really are, how we define them, and how we can use that to engage in conversation with those who do not agree with us. We recognize that there are those who don't agree with us and never will, and all they are going to do is throw bombs at us. They are going to be involved in name calling, will say extremely hateful and spiteful things to us, but we are to love our enemies, to love those who persecute us, as the Scripture says. That doesn't mean that we validate their views or validate their positions.

We need to understand also that as evangelical Christians we stand with a pretty solid block of individuals that comprises perhaps at least 20-million in the United States. There are probably another 20 to 30-million who may not hold to all nine points that Barner Research uses as their criteria for defining an evangelical; perhaps they hold to four or five of those. So we can enlarge that category to perhaps to 40 to 50-million Americans who hold roughly to the authority of the Bible and to the fact that homosexuality is a sin against God, and it is also a devastating sin in its consequences toward society. This view has been coopted by the opposition in caricaturing Christianity and the church. In fact, they have done such a wonderful job in the Devil's world of propagandizing the younger generation that the stand against homosexuality has come to be the defining characteristic of what makes a Christian a Christian. None of us believe that. We believe that the defining element is the love of God demonstrated through the Lord Jesus Christ in His death on the cross. The defining element of Christianity is understanding the grace of God to all who are sinners. And yet studies have indicated that the minds of those under, let's say 30-35, have been radically impacted by the world.

In a study by Dave Keneman and Gabe Lions (in a work that they published on the basis of it) called Un-Christian: What a new generation thinks about Christianity and why it matters one of the questions they were asked in a poll was, what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the word Christian? Over ninety per cent of young Americans answered that anti-homosexual accurately describes present day Christians. That is the number one thought that comes into their minds when asked that question. That is a hurdle we have to overcome because that is exactly what characterizes the younger generation. They have taken in all of the ideas, all of the views and value systems of the modern relativistic culture and made it their own. So what is reflected in that survey is how anti-Christian American culture has become. It is not the culture of the nineties; it is not the culture of the eighties, and it is one hundred and eighty degrees opposite the culture of the fifties and the sixties. This is a radical shift.

One of the unfortunate realities that we see here is that as Christians we are automatically pigeonholed. As soon as somebody finds out you are a Christian you are automatically labelled a bigot, anti-gay, anti-homosexual, and we have to understand how to deal with that. Because of this level of hostility in the culture there are basically three responses from the Christian community as to how to handle that. The first is just to leave it alone; don't talk about it. If you don't talk about it, maybe it will go away. If you keep talking about it, it is just going to reinforce this caricature that the world has of us, that the primary thing that defines us is an anti-homosexual stance. The more we discuss it the more it will be defeated and the more it will be a distraction to the gospel. And there are a number of people (a minority) among the Christian leadership who have taken that position. This is often a position found among young pastors in their dealings with teenagers. The teenage community has been so brainwashed by pro-gay, pro-same-sex propaganda that any time the subject is brought up, well you are just gay bashing. You are unloving, hateful, and this is the automatic response.

A second response is, just give in to it. Just accept that this is the way the culture is going so just accept it, after all what difference does it make? If we accept same-sex marriage it is not really going to change anything, who cares what is going on in the bedroom? I agree with that to a certain extent. Who cares what is going on in the privacy of somebody's life at home? Well, we have to understand that there is a difference between not making an issue out of things like that (what goes on in the privacy of the bedroom) and understanding that maybe by taking this to the extent that we validate it with such a term as marriage we are doing something that is self-destructive. It is not by emphasizing that marriage is for heterosexual monogamous unions only. By stating that it is not being anti-homosexual, it is stating a positive and not stating a negative.

The third response is to answer it: that is really does matter; that this is not a frivolous debate, not simply a debate that is taking away certain rights or dignity from people. If you understand the Declaration of Independence and the Bible properly you can't take dignity away from anyone. That is why Clarence Thomas in his dissenting opinion—for which he has caught a lot of flak from people in the black community—says that even slaves when they were being abused had dignity. He understands that dignity biblically is grounded in the fact that each one of us is created in the image and likeness of God. We have dignity inherent to us, and it is not based on how people treat us. We never lose our dignity because it is not a secondary aspect. It is inherent to our makeup as image bearers of the Lord Jesus Christ. It matters because this particular decision and its social impact is more than likely the greatest revolution since Jesus Christ; it is the greatest social revolution in history. No nation or empire has ever sanctioned homosexual activity as marriage. It has never happened. So much is at stake in this whole debate and we have to understand that not talking about it isn't an option.

The only option is that we need to know how to answer it, and (2 Peter 3:16) we need to answer it in love and kindness; we need to answer it in a way that glorifies and honors the Lord Jesus Christ. The greatest threat to Christianity isn't, I think, same-sex marriage. It isn't from the Supreme Court or progressives in either party. The greatest threat is Christians who aren't willing to grow to spiritual maturity, Christians who are going to look at these circumstances as an excuse to give in to despair and discouragement, and Christians who are going to use this as an excuse to go further underground because they just don't want to be a target. I think we have to honor those men who signed the Declaration of Independence. They pledged their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor in order to bring liberties to the colonies. They were willing to give everything. And if this generation of Americans is not willing to do the same thing then we not only dishonor the signing of the Declaration, we dishonor every one of our forefathers who put on a uniform to fight to preserve the liberties of this nation. And we dishonor ourselves. There is something worth fighting and dying and losing everything we have for, and that is the truth of God's Word. And I am saddened when I read of Christians who are county clerks, who rather than fight have given up their jobs. That doesn't win anything.

I know it is hard; I know it is terrible; I know that the people who are fighting receive hate mail and threats on their lives, and that the financial cost is such that they will lose their fortunes in fighting for what is right. But the issue before us in terms of our personal character is that if we are not willing to fight for what is right, what are we willing to fight for. Is it personal security and comfort? That was an indictment that Frances Schaeffer brought to the American people back around 1977 in his book, How Should We Then Live? He predicted that American culture was such that people were going to become so mired in the pursuit of personal security and happiness that they would be willing to give up everything just to maintain the illusion that they were secure and they were happy. That is coming true before our very eyes.

So we have to answer this question: What is marriage and why should marriage be restricted to one man and one woman? That is the ultimate issue. For Christians we need to understand this biblically. When we are talking to non-Christians we need to recognize that there have been put forth over the centuries dozens and dozens of reasons why marriage should be between one man and one woman. That is, I believe, a residual of the impact of the Word of God on culture. This has always been recognized and same-sex marriage has never been recognized.

One of the implications of this decision is that we are going to challenge all definitions of marriage. We are going to challenge it in terms of polygamy and in terms of polyandry. As one writer facetiously said, we may see polyandry legalized before the word is actually recognized in Spell-Check in Microsoft Word. A case in Montana was filed on Friday where a man with two wives (a former Mormon)—one marriage was civil, the other religious. So they are already pushing polygamy. There have been a number of articles published in different periodicals and journals over the past decade pushing for the legalization of polygamy, and not only that but for paedophilia. So this is what we see coming up. Once you start changing a time-honored definition you start having problems.

We have to look at this from a biblical viewpoint. Here's the question: Is there an inherent and essential nature to marriage which excludes all other consensual unions between adults? To put it another way, if marriage is only a way that the government acknowledges feelings of love and affection between people (this is the way the definition of marriage has been eroded over the years. We think of it as simply a way in which two people who love each other can be joined together legally. We have so minimized the definition of marriage that now we can apply it to anything) then preventing people from marrying would be discrimination, similar to racism, religious bigotry and persecution. But if marriage is something more, then to dilute it or reduce its significance to only love and affection will have dire consequences on a society.

There are many ways in which a society discriminates. We have a society that states that discrimination is wrong. There was a Democrat who said not long ago that we need to outlaw all discrimination. You can't do that. To open your mouth to use any noun discriminates. If you say dog you have just discriminated against all cats! If you use the word man you have discriminated against all women. Any noun isolates one thing from other things. So there are different ways we discriminate. Mad at mothers against drunk driving excludes fathers, by definition. Senior discounts also discriminate against anyone younger. Discrimination is typical with marriage. We have laws that say that you can't get married until you are of a certain age. We discriminate at the voting booth and say you can't vote until you are eighteen years of age. So there are forms of discrimination based on essential qualities that do not demean or trivialize or insult someone. But arbitrary discrimination based on things such as race, Jim Crow laws, other things of that nature are indeed to be prohibited and proscribed.

But what we are talking about in terms of marriage means that we have to understand what marriage is and what its purpose is. There are two answers that we can give, one is from the Bible; the other is from law and practice. Many non-Christian culture and governments for thousands of years have recognized that marriage between one man and one woman. This can be affirmed without making homosexuals the object of scorn and ridicule and derision.

A quote from Sean McDowell, the son of Josh MacDowell, called Same-sex Marriage, a Thoughtful response:

They say Christians who fail to think about key cultural issues never rise above infectious confusion or unprofitable anger. A church that hides from cultural conflicts and chooses to do nothing will become culturally captive and will effectively abandon people to be victims of bad ideas. Love of God demands truth and the love of our neighbor demands action.

Quotations from signers of the Declaration of Independence:

Benjamin Rush: Every citizen of a republic must watch for the state as if its liberties depended upon his vigilance alone. We must be watchful.

John Adams: The general principles upon which the fathers achieved independence were the general principles of Christianity. Now I will avow that I then

believe that those general principles of Christianity are as eternal and immutable as the existence and attributes of God.

John Jay: Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers.

In a Supreme Court ruling in 1882 the Court said: This is a Christian nation.

It is based upon our thoughts, not that it is regenerate but that its ideas came from the Old Testament and the New Testament; it came from that Judeo-Christian heritage. From that heritage we have three divine institutions. An institution is something that has an absolute value. It is not something that is culturally derived but is something that is built into the framework, the structure, the warp and woof of society before the fall. Individual responsibility, marriage and family were the first three. They were all instituted before the fall and they were designed to promote productivity and to advance civilization. They are designed to provide stability in a society so that as children are produced—one of the purposes of marriage is to fulfil the divine mandate (still in effect) to be fruitful and to multiply. That was stated in Genesis chapter one and restated in the Noahic covenant in Genesis chapter nine. That purpose for the union of man and woman stated in those two covenants clearly excludes homosexuality because homosexual couples cannot be fruitful and multiply—and to provide for the education for the next generation. And it is important to have input from both men and women.

The next two divine institutions are government (the establishment of the judiciary) and establishment of nations. And that came after the flood, designed to restrain evil. What we are primarily focusing on is marriage and family.

In Genesis 1:26-28 we see the original creation of man. We need to note that we are as human beings created in the image and likeness of God. This is what gives dignity to every human being and why we as Christians especially need to treat every human being, wether we agree with them or not, with a measure of dignity because every one of them is in the image and likeness of God. When we get to Genesis chapter nine and the Noahic covenant God establishes the principle of the death penalty and execution for murderers. The reason for that is that a murderer has taken the life of an image bearer. He has performed an act against God by killing someone who is in the image and likeness of God. Because someone has been so divorced from reality and has such loss of control that they have gone to that extent they forfeit their life. So execution is not murder, which is what the critics say.

And God created them male and female. This is huge, that every man and every woman is equally an image bearer. God created them distinct, physiologically distinct so that one needs the other in order to fulfil the mandate to be fruitful and multiply. So that just as their physiological and biological features are complimentary, so too are their soul features. So although there are numerous ways in which men and women are similar there are numerous ways in which they are different. And we live in a world today that for the last fifty years has drunk heavily from the fountain that says that men and women are not different, except for a few body parts. If there is even somebody who believes in an immaterial soul, they would say that their souls are identical. Therefore men can do anything women can do; any thing men can do women can do. But there are some things men don't do as well as women.

Genesis 8:17; 9:1, 7 – the command to be fruitful and multiply. When we look at that in terms of the purpose of marriage we see that this purpose is to multiply and fill the earth. This reflects God's initial creation activity as described in Genesis chapter one. After this I believe there is a short time gap (between 1:1 and 1:2) God brought judgment upon the earth so that the earth was without form and void. Void means it is unfilled. So God began to give new form to the earth and to fill it with creatures. Then He delegates to man the responsibility to continue the process, and they are to multiply and fill the earth. This is a task that man alone cannot do. In Genesis 2:18 God said that it is not good that man should be alone and that He would make a helper comparable to him.

Never did God endorse or authorize polygamy. It was only practised by Jacob among the patriarchs; it was practised by a few in later periods in violation of the Mosaic Law by David and Solomon, but those who are ignorant of Scripture often bring this up as something that the Bible allows. God allowed it under permissive will but that was not His decreed will which, as Jesus states, is to be between one man and one woman. In Matthew chapter nineteen when the Pharisees came to Jesus they asked Him a question about divorce. Jesus doesn't go to the Mosaic Law; He goes back to creation.

Matt 19:4, 5 ^NASB "And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created {them} from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’?"

What Jesus is doing here is recognizing is recognizing that you start with the standard, which is the pre-fall condition. That establishes God's ultimate will and purpose. God made accommodation to the sinfulness of man within the Mosaic Law but the standard is male and female, one man and one woman. He concludes: Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” He holds a high standard of marriage that is not determined by culture, by the situations that fall upon corruption of marriage.

Four other factors that are part of the reason and purpose for marriage: One is to regulate sexual desire. Sex was given for the purpose of procreation, to multiply and fill the earth. Sex can be abused under sin, it can lead to abuse of women in terms of sexual assault, it can lead to abuse within marriage; but sex was given to regulate sexual activity for the purpose of procreation. Second, it is given to provide proper balance and expression to both the female nature and the make nature. It regulates and domesticates the male nature. The husband settles down, focuses on caring for his wife and providing for his children, and taking on the responsibilities of spiritual leadership within the home. The man who is alone does not focus upon these things. Third, marriage is designed to protect women from those who would seek to take advantage of them, and it gives them a place and a role to utilize the abilities and talents that God has given them within the home as they fulfil the mandate to multiply and fill the earth, as they have a role and responsibility to train and to teach their children. Fourth, within the structure of the family marriage which has a male and a female provides input from both for the child to have a full development.

What we see from these passages:

1. Marriage is two human beings who become one in every way possible. They are united together; the two become one flesh. That is a term that doesn't just mean sexual union; it has to do with their soul union as well.

2. We see that marriage is oriented towards procreation and filling the earth.

3. Marriage comes with an expectation of permanence. Jesus said: "What God has joined together let no one separate." That provides a stable environment for children so that they can grow up in a home where there is security and stability, and this will enable them to be more properly oriented to reality and to live better within society.

4. From a biblical perspective marriage is an institution created by God for all human beings, not just Christians.

5. Sin does not negate marriage's original design. The corruption of Genesis chapter three doesn't change the inherent purpose of marriage as given in Genesis one and two.

6. Last of all, marriage between male and female is a picture of Christ and the church. God has chosen that male-female union to be a picture that He uses to depict the relationship of Jesus Christ to the church. If Christians go with the validity of same-sex marriage they are blaspheming Jesus Christ, they are blaspheming the church, and they are ripping out the heart of what the New Testament teaches about the body of Christ as the bride of Christ. Ephesians 5:25 ^NASB "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." That love of Christ for the church becomes a pattern and blueprint for the church all the way back to Genesis chapter one. [26] "so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. [28] So [in the same way] husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself."

So any change in the definition of marriage has a gross theological consequence. This is why this is important to teach, to understand for a number of reasons. But we all need to understand it better so that we can articulate to our families, our children, to those who ask us; but we need to understand that just because this decision has come down, it hasn't destroyed anything. The Lord is still on the throne. Our job is to represent the Lord Jesus Christ.

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